(The Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop gave Janet Frongillo confidence and inspiration. Here’s an excerpt from her newly published book, Mommy Mixology: A Cocktail for Every Calamity. The humorous book highlights the calamities moms face from pregnancy all the way up until their “baby” goes to kindergarten. Each recipe has a funny name like “Cosmopotty” and “Emergentini” — and comes with a fun essay.)
“No” is never just a simple word as far as a toddler’s concerned, especially when someone else is around, like a grandmother or a friend. You tell the little scamps no and they seem to dig their heels in even deeper. It’s as though they smell fear….
“We have company? Da da da! SHOWTIME!”
“Please stop trying to swing from the chandelier.”
“Please stop dancing on the table.”
“Please don’t call every man you see inside Home Depot ‘Daddy’!”
Nononononono. And when a toddler tells you no, they are ad-a-mant. But when you tell them no, they think it’s a relative term, subject to debate and incessant questions.
“No, you may not play in traffic.”
“Because you could get hit by a car.”
“Because people drive too fast.”
“Because they’re in too much of a hurry.”
“Because they’re STUPID!”
“You said STUP-ID! You said STUP-ID!”
“No, no I didn’t.”
“YES, you did!”
I win, I win, I win — I got him to say yes!
Makes 1 serving
8 to 10 fresh mint leaves
4 lime wedges or 4 ounces (1/2 cup) fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons white superfine sugar
1 ½ ounces white rum
4 ounces (1/2 cup) chilled club soda
Lime wheel, for garnish
In a cocktail shaker, muddle together the mint leaves, limed wedges or juice, sugar and rum. Add a cup of ice, pour in the club soda and shake. Strain into a tall Collins glass filled with ice. Garnish with a lime wheel.
— Janet Frongillo
Janet Frongillo, writer, blogger, humorist, lives in New Hampshire with her husband, three sons and assorted dust bunnies. When she’s not blowing the budget at Target or dreaming up cocktails on the sidelines at tee ball practice, she can be found blogging here.