All Flavors Homemade from Momma’s Recipes
Freshman Freedom Swirl—Sprinkled with our hot salted tears.
Fudge Shui—Two scoops guarantee you’ll keep your dorm room clean.
Rum Raisin—You might be drinking, but are you pooping?
Virgin Vanilla Bean—Comes with a single cherry.
Ebony and Ivory—The yinyang since you’ve been gone. Are we happy for you? Are we sad?
Ginger-vite Ice with Candy Floss—So delicious in your mouth, where your teeth are. Speaking of which, did you brush?
Orange You Forgetting to Call Your Mother?—Special delivery at parent’s request, live streamed for proof of life.
M&M—Better on your ice cream than on your iPod!
Mixed Nuts—This best not describe your choice of new friends, thank you.
Peanut Butter Chips—Ha! Only a test, is your epi-pen with you?
— Peyton Price and Alexandra Rosas
Peyton Price is the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches From Behind the Picket Fence. You can find her at suburbanhaiku.com. Alexandra Rosas is a storyteller for the nationally acclaimed The Moth, as well as a contributor to several anthologies and weekly columns. You can follow her on twitter @gdrpempress and on her blog.