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Late again

Get this — I wake up to the calm daybreak, the warmth of my heater and my cat meowing into my face. Whoa. That shouldn’t be. Why is it so light out at 3 a.m.?

Darn it! My alarm didn’t go off! I’m late again! I spring out of bed and hurl the covers off as my poor cat goes flying into the wall. I’m so discombobulated!

What day is it? I don’t know where the door is. I’m in the closet trying to find the doorknob. I’m in such a panic! Okay, what day is it? I ask myself again. I run in to take my shower, but I don’t have time. I’ll just pull my hair back, wash the top and rinse my face. I brush my teeth rapidly, slopping toothpaste all over the mirror as the cap goes flying off into the toilet. I throw on some clothes. Nope. I can’t stop to look for socks. I’ll just carry my shoes out with me.

Dammit! It snowed! Welp. I don’t have time to warm the car up so I skate in my bare feet, open the door, start the car and back out of the driveway purely by faith. I can’t see a thing.

Man are my feet cold! I spray my windshield with wiper fluid — after all, it’s sort of an antifreeze isn’t it? Now the ice is just blurry. My windshield wipers are stuck to the window, so all I can hear is the motor trying to free them. I figure I’ll drive really fast to make the antifreeze dry. As I slide down to the end of the street, I can just start to see out of the tiny circle my heater has created on my windshield. My frozen hair ‘cracks’ as I turn my head to open my window. That’s the way I remove the snow when I don’t have time. I just unroll it, then roll it back up before the snow forms a big heap at the bottom and falls back into the car.

Whew. I made it! I’m finally at work. I get out of the car, put my shoes on — one black, one brown — and stumble up to the door. There’s nobody here but the cleaning woman who informs me it’s Sunday.

— Mari’ Emeraude

This essay is an excerpt from Mari Emeraude’s book, Your Face Will Freeze Like That and other stuff mom told us. Visit her author page here.

Reflections of Erma