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To fold or roll

It’s like a toy on Misfit Island from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. A single sock lies rejected, on the floor in my house waiting to be claimed by its owner.

It is amazing to me that everybody walks by it and nobody picks it up.

Are they blind? Do they not see it?

It’s been a week now.

How long till one of my kids pick it up? I know if it was a dollar bill they would be all over it, fighting till the death. Only, nobody is compelled to pick up a sock.

I looked at the sock and knew it had to be new since it was without holes and initials. Since more than one person wears the same sport sock and sock theft is rampant in our house initials adorn all socks.

Looking at the sock, I pondered the location of the other sock. Was it in a drawer, crying for its mate?

I checked the drawers.

Upon my investigation I saw socks that were stashed two different ways – rolled into a ball or folded in half.

Each person has a different system. Are you a roller or a folder? It’s a personal choice. Just like there are two ways to fold socks, there are two ways to put on your socks and shoes.

One way is to put on sock, sock and then shoe, shoe. The other way is to put on sock, shoe, sock, shoe.

Again, it’s a personal choice.

However, if it’s summertime and you’re wearing sandals there is no need for socks.

If you are one of those men who wear socks with sandals, take my advice, “Stop it, right now! It is not attractive.”

I checked the house and did not find the sock.

During the week I watched the sock get stepped over, tripped over and cursed at. I watched it get tossed aside, kicked aside and placed outside.

Finally, after a week of witnessing sock abuse, I picked up the sock at the exact moment my husband walks by, sees the sock, grabs the sock and proclaims, “Thanks, I’ve been looking for this.”

I took his advice to put a sock in it to squelch my screaming.

Where I put the sock, well, that’s my personal choice.

— Cindy Argiento

Cindy Argiento’s first column appeared in the Greensboro News and Record as a Personal Ads feature on April 30, 2002. Later that year, her first “As I See It” column appeared in the High Point Enterprise, where it would become a regular feature for several years. Her columns also have appeared in the Reidsville Review, Eden Daily News, Gilroy Dispatch, Hollister Freelance, Hopewell News and Foothills Paper. Other essays have appeared in Chicken Soup For the Soul books, Family Mattersand Married Life. Three of her pieces were recognized as a finalist, semi-finalist and honorable mention in HumorPress.com “America’s Funniest Humor” writing contest. She blogs at Cindy’s World.

Reflections of Erma