Waffle Crisp Was On Sale Day: On very special days of the year, Mom will bring home boxes of Waffle Crisp, as opposed to the generic bagged cereal that is for some reason 1/27th the cost. This influx of food will alter the nutritional ecosystem of your home for at least one meal, possibly more, depending on how many boxes were purchased per child. This is also a vital day for the father of the family, because while you may not know exactly what it is that your dad does, you know it involves keeping the special milk fridge in the garage well-stocked, which is a critical aspect of this day. Plus he likes Waffle Crisp too.
Mom Called You By the Right Name on the First Try Day: Otherwise known as your birthday.
Television to Yourself Day: Rarer than a solar eclipse, this special day may only come around once in your whole childhood. This day will continue to remain special in your heart for years afterward, particularly if you are a youngest child, and despite the fact that you probably just watched SpongeBob reruns like you would have with your siblings anyway.
Rediscovery of Old Halloween Candy Day: This day usually occurs in late February, often spurred by the inevitably disappointing Valentine’s day haul of chalk hearts and dry, crumbly chocolates taped to cardboard that probably tastes better than the chocolate itself. If you are an older child and the Halloween candy being rediscovered belongs to a younger sibling, this is the day for which your inherent bossing and bartering skills were evolved.
Shark Week: The week leading up to Thanksgiving.
Your Sister’s Dance Recital is Over Day: Like the end of daylight savings, your family will arrive at this day slightly dazed and grateful to have survived. Accidentally hearing the dance song even one more time for at least the next year may result in spontaneous combustion.
Grandma is Visiting Tomorrow Day: Best practice is to prepare for this day weeks in advance. Remember that Grandma will show up eventually and Mom will have to let you stop vacuuming, organizing, and swimming in abrasive cleaning chemicals that make your eyes water. Pro-tip: don’t let Mom see your eyes water.
Mom Finally Allows You to Stay Home from School Only Because You’re Barfing, Shivering, Coughing, Breaking Out in Hives and Exploding Diarrhea All at the Same Time Day: see Television to Yourself Day.
-Sarah Allen (who has too many siblings. Or maybe just enough.)
Sarah has been published in Cicada, Lunch Ticket, The Evansville Review, and on WritersDigest.com. She received her MFA in creative writing from Brigham Young University. She writes poems for kids at http://fromsarahwithjoy.