People who believe that the universe was created by a power greater than random chance had a setback in getting their biblically-based Intelligent Design theory of history taught in public school as an alternative to evolution.
A Pennsylvania federal court judge ruled that Intelligent Design — a concept that says humans are way too complex to have developed from single celled creatures — is not science, but the bible with a textbook cover on it.
Now, I can’t verify if that’s true.
Having been brought up old-school Catholic, we weren’t allowed to have bibles. The church would hand out something called “Missalettes.” They were basically “Bible Lite” and contained just the parts of the bible Catholics were allowed to see.
The rest of the bible was kept locked up in Rome and therefore, I don’t have a clue as to what’s in it.
Evolution design flaw
So, growing up bible lite, I have no idea why some people are so passionate about having the bible version of creation taught along with Darwin’s theory of evolution — part of which projects that humans may have developed from lowly life forms and then primates like monkeys.
I mean Intelligent Design makes a certain amount of sense when you think about it. For example, no one is going to convince me that Kate Upton is the result of random splitting of an amoeba — which if I remember correctly from biology class looks like a squashed caterpillar with an eye in the middle.
Besides, I think the theory of Evolution could stand a little competition.
Basically, evolution is boring. It’s all this stuff about how everything on earth developed over millions and millions of years of natural selection and adaptation, trial and error, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Intelligent Design is much more succinct. It says the earth is not 4 billion years old. It’s just 6,000 years old. School kids will rejoice at the concept. That’s about 3.99999 billion years of earth history they don’t have to study.
Students won’t have to learn about Jurassic Park Period or the Crustacean days because they don’t exist under Intelligent Design.
For the birds
And, unless you are going to be a paleontologist, evolution really doesn’t have any place in our world today. The only way I suspect evolution is impacting my life is when I get my cable television bill. I can’t be certain, but I think I’m paying a charge for evolution in there somewhere. I think it comes with the HBO package.
And on top of it all, no one really talks about evolution any more. I haven’t had an intelligent conversation about Darwin and the origin of the species since I was in college.
I remember it well. My roommate and I were sitting around eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and putting the bones on some old newspapers that we put on the kitchen table to suck up the grease.
On one of the newspaper pages was a picture of some scientists holding up a bone and declaring it was the missing link that proved man evolved from lower life forms.
My roommate looked at the bone in the picture and a chicken bone he had in his hand. Setting the bone down next to the picture he said, ”Look. It’s the same bone. We’re not descended from monkeys. We came from chickens.”
I looked at the bone and then at my roommate and replied, “I wonder if Colonel Sanders knows about this.”
Shortly after that, Kentucky Fried Chicken changed its name to KFC.
— Myron Kukla