My dear friend told her son if he used her fancy shampoo he will grow boobs. He stopped using it immediately. About two weeks later, he said innocently, “Mom, I think Dad has been using your shampoo.”
I always loved this story because it is such a great lie with hilarious results. Who knows how long it will linger? The father in this story has a great sense of humor. No harm done. I too was raised with some harmless lies. The concepts of “Parking Karma” and “infamous left and right chopsticks” were not debunked until I was (embarrassingly) in college.
Tonight, I had the pleasure of trying out my first authentic parental lie.
My son’s beloved stuffed animal BoBo was the causality of a chaotic trip to the toy store. I should have known when we saw the giant display of balls it was going to be a nightmare, but there were not too many options on a hot summer’s day.
The frantic search for BoBo at bedtime ensued. Not in the car. Not in the backyard. Not in the fridge. Not under the crib. I called the store in a panic.
“Thank you for calling 5 Below. How may I help you?”
“Have you seen BoBo?!” I screeched.
“Oh, um. BoBo. It’s my son’s monkey. It’s the kind with just a head and no arms or legs.”
“My son’s stuffed animal. We think he left it in the middle of the ball display. It’s sort of an emergency.”
“We have a pink elephant with no arms.”
“Uh, no thank you.”
By the time, I had walked the fifteen steps back to my son’s room, I have already ordered a backup BoBo on Amazon. Thank you Prime Membership.
I shake my head “no” to my husband and brightly chirp, “Guess what? BoBo went on vacation!”
I proceed to explain that BoBo had so much fun in the store that he stayed to ride on the motorcycles and will be back in two business days, I mean Tuesday.
“But I think BoBo is sad without me.”
“Well just like you were sad when Mommy and Daddy went away for a few days and you missed us, you knew we would be back.”
“No Mommy. I didn’t miss you. I only miss BoBo.”
Well, at least I know where I stood.
This is my observant child. This is the boy that notices if he gets the wrong size fork at dinner or if the crayons have been changed in the box. He will surely notice a replacement BoBo.
The next morning, he woke up to a postcard from BoBo:
I have missed you so much while I was on vacation. I found this great blue motorcycle that I was riding on. I chose it because I know it is your favorite color. I have missed you so much and cannot wait to see you later. I might look a little different after my travels – but I am still your same BoBo!
I love you,
He carried the postcard around with him all day.
“Look at BoBo riding on the motorcycle. He is having so much fun.”
This evening BoBo returned.
“Look Momma. BoBo came back. How was your vacation BoBo? Did you wear a helmet?”
And together they happily slept. Look at that joy.
My dear Oliver. When you are old enough to read this book, you will have learned the truth of your beloved BoBo. Also, it is possible to open a cookie tin without eating three pieces of broccoli first. Love, Your Crafty Momma.
Leah Moore is a teacher and mother of three delicious children. She captures the stories of her special needs daughter with Cri Du Chat and the adventures of her twin baby boys in her blog, www.thecheesebus.com. She believes life’s odysseys can best be handled with kindness, a sense of humor and the perfect pair of sweatpants.