They’ll never let you finish a sentence!!!
We are the Encyclopedia Britanica of the last generation. We are the all-knowing, all-sharing “Google” of our times. We are the weather lady who says, “Take a jacket. You never know when a storm will appear, dahlink. Yes, I know it’s summer but still…”
We are the Siris and the Alexas in real life, and we often do not understand what the hell you are asking.
“A tie, why do you need a tie? You are wearing a bathing suit! Oh, a Thai restaurant? What’s wrong with you? Are you on drugs??
You think WE nag? We are simply giving you information I believe is so kind and helpful. If I tell you there is congestion on the freeway (and possibly your chest because you didn’t take a jacket), you are free not to listen and be late for your important, possibly life-saving or even life-changing appointment. As far as your severe cold — okay, okay. No guilt. Sure, I’ll make some chicken soup with my pal Campbell’s.
For some silly reason you don’t like nagging. Do you live in a cave?
Face facts. Other famous advice givers — Aristotle, Confucius and once again, Plato — were nags, too! We are actually philosophers. Imagine, in your own family having such a distinguished relative, your queen of nagging, er I mean philosopher.
Please, please, you do not have to buy me anything or send me a bunch of gift cards to Nordstrom’s.
The Truth: We are surrounded by nagging.
Stop signs nag, “STOP!”
Librarian say, “SHUSH!”
Recently, the IRS said, “Pay or jail, Missy!”
Mel Brooks says, “Walk this way.”
Teachers, editors, doctors, gatekeepers — excuse me, gate ambassadors — you know the ones who are playing bridge or gossiping with one another as we sneak through and rob your manner. Them.
You think YOU don’t nag? So, let me ask you, “Did you ever tell your dog to sit?”
Do you say to others, “Have a nice day.” Really! Who are you to tell others how to live?
See my point?
These are the facts.
MOMMIES are modern-day philosophers. Grandmothers are the ultimate teachers.
We mothers (you are the beneficiaries) are the Pull-It-Sir prize winners in that field. You are sooo lucky!
— Jan Marshall
Jan Marshall’s life’s work is devoted to humor and healing through books, columns and consulting. A humorist and television host, she is a Certified Master Hypnotherapist. In 1986 she founded the International Humor & Healing Institute. Her board members included Norman Cousins, Steve Allen, Dr. Bernie Siegel and John Cleese, plus other physicians and entertainers. Her newest satirical survival book is called Dancin’ Schmancin’ with the Scars: Finding the Humor No Matter What! As a survivor, she donates a percentage of book profits to the American Cancer Society, American Brain Tumor Association, Wounded Warriors and The Laguna Woods Village Foundation.