It gets harder to set a holiday table with each passing year…
Thanksgiving’s just around the corner;
Called my mom, so I could warn her
I no longer find prestige in
Eating turkey — now I’m vegan.
Mushrooms can’t have sausage stuffing.
Yams: without marshmallow fluff. String
Beans are fine without the butter
(Nothing that comes from an udder).
Gingered carrots can’t have honey.
Bacon-wrapped dates? Won’t eat one. We
Need to focus more on plant-based;
Screw those deviled eggs from Aunt Grace.
Everyone will hate me when you
Tell them how I trashed your menu.
Tension’s surely gonna thicken
Once they learn I’m also Wiccan.
— John Branning
John Branning writes, and having writ — he instantly moves on. / He sometimes writes in verse, which he hopes surely proves beyond / the faintest shadow of a doubt regarding stanzas he is spewing: / It’s clear to those who read them — he does not know what he’s doing. His political poetry hangs out at TheTrumpPoems.com, and you can also tune into his weekly podcast “This Week at the Trump Poems” on all major podcasting platforms.