Housekeeping is not one of my gifts. I secretly fear the government will institute a rating system like they do for restaurants. I can imagine a huge sign on my front door announcing a grade of “D” to all that enter.
I always, however, make an effort to clean before vacation. Why? Because if I die on the trip, I want everyone that comes through the house to think, “Wow! She was an amazing housekeeper. […]
Essays and News
My husband has come home. To stay. This is sometimes called Retirement. Ours was not to be the one depicted in those ads. We are not that ultra-fit couple, so well endowed with bushels of silver hair and sparkling teeth. Not sailing off into a glorious sunrise, we would be practicing the fine arts of homemaking and housekeeping – together.
We would be good at this. In our newfound collaborative ways, the daily chores would be done in half the time. […]
A great pair of jeans is like a thoughtful lover. Let’s call him “Levi.”
Levi is supportive and easy to be with; he shields your flaws and celebrates your best assets. He’s there to comfort you after a hard day at work.
“Hey, girl,” he whispers from the closet. “Let’s curl up on the couch with a bottle of Chardonnay and binge-watch The Handmaid’s Tale . . . let me hold you.”
Steadfast and true as a Boy Scout, […]
We were only going to babysit our grandson for the weekend. One small human for this seasoned mother of six. Piece of cake. The tour of the house seemed a little odd.
“Where”s the lever to lower this crib rail?” I mumbled groping the wooden bars.
“Oh, they outlawed those mom” my daughter warned. “I think they killed people.”
“So how do I get him in?”
“Like this.” She took a running start and heaved the tot like a quarterback in the end zone dropping him with a thud. […]
When I chose a cross country road trip for our summer vacation like the ones I took as a child, I imagined a life-changing journey. In reality, we weren’t out of the neighborhood before my two boys asked when we’d stop for lunch.
I persisted, despite blank stares in response to my lecture on the Westward Expansion. I ignored endless whining. I crafted sandwiches on my lap. I refereed pointless arguments about the color of the sky and the fate of Pluto. […]