My mom has this story she likes to tell that I’ve always believed is totally fiction. This isn’t out of the ordinary—my mom has lots of stories that are, um, exaggerated to say the least. We, her family, have heard numerous versions of how, during childbirth, she broke out of restraints (restraints!) and, depending on the day she tells the story, kicked the nurse/doctor/security guard across the room. In another tale, she suffered through a gynecologic procedure so painful that she dug her fingers into the marble slab on which she was sitting. […]
Essays and News
You read about all those good things that writers should do to be productive. And then there all the things a writer shouldn’t do, bad habits that lead to non-writing. I have brought a lot of non-writing on myself through bad habits.
I have a book to edit, a humor book. Humor-because it’s supposed to be funny. I did two edits, one after another. Well, almost one after another…I’m not that efficient. Then somebody said let it sit for a while, […]
(This piece originally appeared in the blog and newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.)
Yes, I admit it, I am way too proud of accumulating 42.5K+ Twitter followers and inappropriately boastful of the occasional death threat.
And, that Judd Apatow has retweeted me six times, causing my mom to say, “That Judd seems like such a nice boy.”
So, it’s no wonder I get asked, what do you do about those annoying Twitter trolls? […]
This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none. But my little piggies, instead of crying wee wee wee all the way home, said the hell with it and went for a pedicure.
My wife, Sue, who gets pedicures all the time and whose feet are beautiful, thinks mine aren’t. So, to convince her that a little pampering wouldn’t be like putting lipstick on a pig, […]
He made me feel the same way Gregory Peck, playing Atticus Finch, made me feel when I first saw the movie To Kill a Mockingbird. That feeling: affirmation. Affirmation, because when Bill Bombeck opened with remarks at the first Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, he spoke so intelligently, and hilariously, and supportively about the success of his wife and the effects of it all on his family. Erma must have felt that affirmation, too. […]