According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), about half of Americans are currently trying to lose weight, many of them employing strategies like switching from peanut M&M’s to the plain variety, or drinking more Cherry Coke to increase their intake of fruit. Unfortunately, most diet plans fail, and any calories burned through the exhausting process of signing up for a gym membership are quickly regained through the consumption of a recovery donut on the way home to take a nap. […]
Essays and News
When my husband asked, “Where did you hide my black socks?”
I replied, “I thought they were mine. I put them in the hall closet. That’s where I always put them.”
He immediately went to investigate. Sure enough, nothing was there.
He arrived back, hands on his hips, saying, “Stop messing with me.”
What is wrong with this man? I took him by the hand and led him to his chest of drawers. When I opened the top right drawer, […]
’Twas midnight on a Saturday in Greenwich Village. Walking through the NYC crowd, I had just hit Bleecker Street. A horn honked the distinctive tune of “Y.M.C.A.” I knew it could belong to only one person —my wife Lyn’s gay cousin Maxwell.
“Need a ride, sailor?” he teased as he pulled over to the curb. I laughed and jumped into his car.
“Glad you happened by, Max. Lyn’s out of town for the weekend. I’m bored,” I confessed. […]
It all began last February when I went to see my therapist for ideas on how to feel closer to my neighbors and become a bigger part of my local community.
Therapist: How can I help you?
Me: Every day I walk exactly 11 miles before 11:11 p.m. on the clock and…
Therapist: So you’re here to address your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Me: No, that’s just my lucky number. The point is I encounter tons of neighbors on my walks, […]
Men, dear men. They are so naïve. They are slowly but surely being conned into believing that we are all equals. It is absurd.
It is imperative that men understand that they are not like women, no matter how much they would like to be. The difference can be dramatic. This is not meant to be judgmental. Merely an observation.
FACT: Men borrow their wives’ cuticle scissors to cut the hair in their nose. That is considered all right. […]